


iron patriot is superior, end of discussion

by cadmvs



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Civil war never happens, Gen, How Do I Tag, J.A.R.V.I.S. didn’t die, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Present Tense, Protective Avengers, Threesome Jokes, Tony Stark Bingo 2019, bros being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadmvs/pseuds/cadmvs
Summary: Tony really likes it when Rhodey’s in Iron Patriot suit. He’s his best friend, after all. He’d of course would look good in it.





	iron patriot is superior, end of discussion

**Author's Note:**

> Square: s4 — (picture: rhodey in iron patriot suit)  
> Rating: gen  
> Warnings: some swearing  
> Pairing: Tony Stark & James Rhodes  
> Summary: Tony really likes it when Rhodey’s in Iron Patriot suit. He’s his best friend, after all. He’d of course would look good in it.

When Tony wakes up, it’s to a distinct smell and a nauseous feeling down in his gut. Perhaps a heavy ache in his chest was also a help to his sudden awakening. He doesn’t recognize the room he finds himself in, it must’ve been a really good party for him to drink that much. He remembers a fight that took place, that must’ve been the reason for the aching he was feeling but he just can’t remember the details. Who was he fighting with? Why was he fighting in the first place?

The clock on the wall barely shows the time, well it does but Tony just cannot see the hands on it. It looks like a 3 but it can also be 3 in the morning, so he isn’t exactly sure. 

J.A.R.V.I.S. salutes its boss and answers his helping call. “Morning, sir,” it says. “It’s currently 2 and a half in the noon and you’ve been sleeping for ten hours. Should I allow DUM-E to bring you your breakfast?” 

“Yeah, no, well-“ Tony grunts. “Where am I?”

“You’re currently in Steve Rogers’ master chamber.”

“Is that why there’s a giant American flag on the wall?” he asks rhetorically and tries to get up. He finds a glass of water on the bedside table and drinks it down. “Where’s he anyway?”

“Mr. Rogers is currently in the dining hall, with Miss Romanov and Mr Barton.” 

“Yeah, thank you J.A.R.V.IS.”

“No problem, boss.”

Tony finds a fitting dress from Steve’s wardrobe, talking to himself about how distasteful the man is while doing so. He grabs a grey hoodie and puts it on, then gets out of the room without washing his face or visiting his own room. 

He sees his fellow Avengers and announces his arrival, while taking a seat next to them. “What the fuck?” he says silently. “Who punched me in the gut yesterday? It hurts like a bitch.”

“Justin Hammer,” Natasha answers. “He was trying to tease you and he drew the line at calling Pepper quote unquote a massive slut who can’t even properly run a company.”

“Is he dead yet?” 

“No, but soon he will be,” she says and continues to eat her strawberry waffle. “You broke a wine glass on his head and he kicked you continuously until Pepper took you away.”

Tony grunts again and places his hand on his chest, the nausea doesn’t feel like wearing off at all. “I should ban him from life.” 

Steve snorts, then places his hand on the man sitting next to him. “Barton and I handled it, no worries. After you fainted and Pepper took you to my room, we kicked his ass.”

“We totally did,” Clint supports. “He got what he deserved.”

“Even if he doesn’t respect our status as Avengers, he should at least respect the fact that she’s a woman and the boss of the company that threw the party he was in,” Natasha snarks, “I’ll murder him for all I care.”

Clint shrugs. “Well, at least we got a slightly fun party. The Iron Patriot show was incredible,” he says, then adds. “I’d kill to see Rhodey in that suit again.”

“I’d kill everyone to see him in that suit again,” Natasha comments. “He was hot as fuck.”

Tony smiles. “That’s ‘cuz he’s my bestie for life.”

“Please don’t use ‘bestie’ again,” Steve face-palms. 

“What? You’re jealous of my bestie?”

“Just shut up.”

Tony orders some lunch from a local restaurant and eats it afterwards, they sit together for two hours or more when Rhodey shows up. He’s wearing a suit and a tie, and he looks fantastic in it.

“Pretty boy,” Tony says and pats his lap. “Come sit over here.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes and smiles. “God, shut the hell up, Tony.”

Tony giggles. “We were just discussing how sexy you were last night.”

Rhodey sits down next to Clint, facing Natasha and Tony. “Yeah, man,” Clint says. “You were like all American and also the very favourite Iron Patriot.”

Other cannot see it but Tony knows he’s blushing like a teenage girl. “Thanks guys,” he says really shyly. “It’s all Tony.”

Tony puts a cherry in his mouth. “I just designed the suit,” he explains. “No one told you to look hot as fuck out there.”

“Are you- are you hitting on me?” Rhodey asks, all flustered now. 

“Not to be gay, but you look like everyone’s wet dream, am I right?” Tony blurts out, then having courage when everyone nods and agrees with him. “Well, to be gay, you look like my wet dream.”

“Stop,” Natasha says playfully. “He’s going to die of embarrassment.” 

They all start to laugh and eventually Rhodey breaks a little giggle as well, Tony throws a napkin to him because he is begging for attention. “Did you see me kicking Hammer’s ass last night?”

“More like Hammer erasing your existence? Yeah, I did,” Rhodes smirks. 

“Now, I wouldn’t put it like that-“

“But he was a huge dick. And I’m pretty sure Pepper just bought his company just out of pure rage.”

“Atta girl,” Tony says and Natasha smiles.

“Marry already, please.” Natasha sighs. “Or I might have to marry her instead.”

“When, and not if, when we get married,” Tony starts. “I want Rhodey to be my best man. But with the Iron Patriot suit.”

“Ouch,” Clint says. “We’ll be wallflowers, then? Not cool, Stark.”

“Shut it, Barton. You’re jealous that I didn’t make you radioactive arrows.” 

“Yeah, but Brucie will make ‘em,” Clint sticks his tongue out and links his arms together. “I don’t need you, Stark.”

Tony snorts. “Yeah, sorry, whose lab is he working in, again.”

Steve breaks his own silence and laughs. “Fair.”

“Wait- I have another idea. Iron Patriot AND Captain America. How is it?”

“Terrific,” Rhodey comments, reaching for a glass of water. “So, when do you propose?”

“To you? Now, if you’d like,” Tony smiles and drops on one knee immediately. “Colonel James Rhodes, will you do me the honour—“

“Oh my God,” Rhodey rolls his eyes. “I was talking about Pepper!” 

“Oh,” Tony gets up. “So you say no?” 

“I think he’s proposing a threesome,” Clint interrupts. “I’m in.”

“Ask me if I’m in in a threesome with you,” Tony puts his hands on the table and leans in. “The answer is not no but probably there’s a low chance that it’ll happen. You have to get me drunk.”

“That’s an insult, and mind you, I’m a highly attractive person, fuck you very much,” Clint shouts and gets up. “I’m going to go spar, anyone?”

Natasha gets up as well. “Count me in.”

When they leave the room, Tony’s the first one to speak. “They’re going to have sex, right?”

“It’s not our business,” Steve says calmly, then Rhodey nods and agrees with Captain America.

“Yeah, it’s not ours to talk about.”

“Jeez,” Tony sighs. “You guys are such a killjoy.”

Rhodey and Tony head to his labs to make some improvements on his Iron Patriot suit, which Tony is deeply fond of. The suit particularly reminds himself of their childhood, when Captain America was a highly celebrated national hero and a public figure. He’s so happy about those memories. 

Rhodey and he used to go to parades on every Fourth of July and celebrate the birth of their nation, as well as the birth of Captain America. 

His father, Howard, on the other hand, wasn’t really into this whole celebrating thing. It made him remember not being able to find the man who got lost in the ice, his friend. But he never tormented Tony over it, he never had the mistake to compare his own only child with a man from his younger times, for which Tony was very grateful. 

Rhodey asks him a question that tears Tony apart from his deep thoughts about his father and their childhood. 

“What if we add thrusters on the back?” he asks. “That way it’ll be easier for it to float mid-air.”

Tony looks at him for a second before speaking and making complete heart eyes. “Rhodey, I can kiss you.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Fair. But you’re a genius. Why didn’t we think of it sooner. And I have a zillion PhD’s,” Tony shakes his head.

“I may not be like you but you know I’m in Air Force, right? I know a thing or two about aviation,” Rhodey shrugs. 

“You’re definitely wearing this suit at my wedding.”

“If.”

“When,” Tony corrects him. “She’ll totally say yes.”

“Well, we’ll see about that.”

“Even if she doesn’t,” Tony puts his arm around the man. “I always have you, Rhodey-Bear.”

“God, please don’t ever call me that.”

“Okay, Rhodey-Bear.”

“You’re dead,” Rhodey shouts as Tony leaves the lab smiling. “You hear me, Stark? You’re dead!”

“Love you, too, Rhodey-Bear!”

And yeah, he will definitely make his Rhodey-Bear wear that Iron Patriot suit at his wedding as his best man. He definitely will make him wear that.


End file.
